Tribute Wall

Often I begin painting a piece of furniture only to discover that the piece doesn’t want to be anything like I’d planned. I’ve come to realize that my pieces turn out better when I let them “tell” me what they want to be, and I just go with it.

This post is something like that, so stay with me here…

I planned a fantastic post—transforming a giant metal clock with BB Frösch Chalk Paint Powder. Every time I sat down to write, the words just wouldn’t come. I was all set to call Brooke and tell her I needed a break this month. I knew she would totally understand.

That’s when it hit me.

This post still needed to be written, it just needed to be a completely different post.

This is a tutorial of sorts but, in the interest of full disclosure, I’m not an expert in the area I’m writing about! This tutorial is more about content and less about decorating. I hope you’ll understand. Here goes…

December 23, 2014.

Two days before Christmas. My one and only son died. Just like that. He was 20. Instead of Jordan’s 6’2” lanky self walking through the door with his backpack over his shoulder, I opened my front door to the Clark County Coroner carrying Jordan’s backpack. Needless to say, everything changed that day.

Wall clock transformations no longer even blipped on my radar. But, weirdly, my old clock wall was on my radar. I’ll explain that in a minute.

Former "Clock" Wall
Former “Clock” Wall

The holidays were pretty much a blur. It still feels like the holidays didn’t even happen. Amazingly, we made it through with the support of friends and family, and even strangers. I have so many stories of family and friends and anonymous donors helping us fund Jordan’s funeral, meals brought in every single night for ten days, my mom doing every piece of laundry we own and cleaning things that hadn’t been cleaned in, well, ever! We have been tremendously blessed!

Then it came time for my mom and dad to go home.

All the guys wore red bowties in honor of Jordan's favorite color and accessory
All the guys wore red bowties to the funeral in honor of Jordan’s favorite color and accessory

These are my amazing parents. Can you see why it was a little hard to let them go back home?

The beautiful flowers from the funeral began to die. I walked past my clock wall every day and thought of how I let each child pick their favorite clock and we set that clock to the time of their birth (note: I only have four kids–the other clocks are just set to random times!) That was the solution we had come up with to have all my cool clocks without the ticking drive everyone, especially Jordan, nuts. Ticking clocks and kids with autism aren’t a great mix! It goes without saying that my clock wall now made me feel empty and sad.

We were only a couple weeks into this grieving thing, and my standard answer to the standard question, “How are you doing?”

was simply, “We are okay. And, we are not okay. But we are okay with that.”

That was the best I could come up with, but it didn’t come close to expressing how we are really doing. There is so much more to it!

It occurred to me that I needed to do something to express the “so much more” without having to explain it. I also personally needed something to bridge me and our family from the overwhelming support we’d received in the weeks following Jordan’s death to the new life that loomed ahead as those around us returned to their families and their new year.

That’s when my girls and I came up with the idea of a tribute wall.

My Amazing Girls
My Amazing Girls

I wouldn’t normally just insert a giant picture of my girls, even though I am the proudest of moms, but these girls deserve a huge mention for their loving contribution. I strongly encourage getting everyone in your family involved in this project!

We immediately got excited about what the wall would include. We didn’t want a “shrine” or a place that evoked sadness. There will be plenty of things: a song on the radio, a letter in the mail for Jordan, a piece of Jordan’s clothing found unexpectedly…that will bring on the tears. We needed something awesome and special.

We brainstormed what we wanted the wall to express, so that when we walked past, or when others saw it for the first time, there would be no question about who Jordan is, what we believe, how we are doing, and how we feel.

My advice, inexpert as it is in this field, is to start with a list of words—feelings and emotions you want to convey instead of starting with a pile of awards and memories that would make you feel sad about what was, or what could have been.

A tribute wall should not be for the person who has passed because I believe they are in good hands and not sad in the least. It should be for those of us who are living—to inspire us, give us hope, and comfort us.

Now, I know you may not have need for a tribute wall due to the death of a loved one, but tribute walls can be for anyone!

Here is what we came up with:

Tribute Wall Word List
Tribute Wall Word List

Armed with our list, we created categories so as not to be too “heavy” in any one area. We then began collecting things for our wall, and within minutes, we had more than enough. The awesome thing about a tribute wall is that it should be made primarily of things you already have, so it doesn’t cost anything!

Here are the categories we felt covered most every item and every word from our list. Of course, most items fell into more than one category and vice versa.

Note: For creating your own tribute wall, wherever you read “Jordan,” just insert “loved one.”

1. Picture of Jordan

Jordan Ryan Smith
Jordan Ryan Smith

We chose a our favorite picture from our most recent family photo shoot. The girls had it made into a canvas as a belated Christmas gift for Jason and me. This is a category that would be easy to overdo with pictures! We did not want a wall of pictures of Jordan through the years, because it wouldn’t leave room for our other categories. Those pictures are in his scrapbooks. We chose one picture where Jordan looked handsome and exuded confidence. It’s how we remember Jordan.

2. Initial to Represent Jordan

ATT Tribute Wall 10
Kacey painted over a blue “J” with red chalk paint (made with BB Frösch Chalk Paint Powder, of course!) Red was Jordan’s favorite color.

3. Clock

ATT Tribute Wall 8
This represents that time is precious and to be treasured. It also represents that this time on earth is not the end, it is just a blip on our journey through eternity.

4. Family Picture

Our Last Family Photo Shoot
Our Last Family Photo Shoot

A tribute wall wouldn’t be complete without a picture that represents the people closest to you and your loved one. I love how our recent family picture just happened to have Jordan’s favorite color, red, as the accent color! It goes perfectly on our wall.

5. Landmark Picture

Jordan River Temple
Jordan River Temple

By landmark picture, I mean something that has meaning for your loved one and your family. A favorite vacation, a “first”, a favorite place, etc.
We chose a picture of the Jordan River, Utah temple. The temple represents that our family is sealed together forever. It is the temple where Jason and I were married, and is the temple that Jordan was named after.

6. Picture that Represents Our Faith

"Lead Kindly Light" by Simon Dewey
“Lead Kindly Light” by Simon Dewey

We chose a special picture of the Savior.

This picture holds several meanings for us. We know the Savior lovingly and excitedly welcomed Jordan home. The Savior will always be there for us, leading, guiding, and loving us. This picture, titled “Lead Kindly Light” was a gift from our ward (church congregation) when Jordan died.

7. Picture/item that Expresses Feeling

Mom and Dad
Jase and Me at Jordan’s Funeral

This could be a quote, family photo, favorite photo of your loved one doing something that had meaning for them—joy, hard work, service, etc. I think it could also be a picture of your loved one with special friends.

We chose a picture of Jason and Me

My sister took this picture at Jordan’s graveside service, and my parents had it framed for us as a gift. I had no idea this picture was taken, but I treasure it for so many reasons! It represents and expresses every emotion we felt as we were about to place a red rose on Jordan’s casket: sadness, exhaustion, hope, faith, feeling blessed, love… I especially love that in this rare instance, I am the one supporting Jason. He is my rock, and I am grateful that he could lean on me for this brief moment.

8. Picture/Item that Represents our Family

Family "Rock"
Family “Rock”

We chose a Family Rock that my mother in law had engraved with our family initials. She gave it to use several years ago. I have always loved it for it’s uniqueness, but I love it even more now as it represents strength in family unity.

9. Inspiration Item to Represent Hope

Jordan's Memory Wreath
Jordan’s Memory Wreath

We chose a wreath that was given to us by a sweet friend who lost her own son tragically a couple of years ago. She brought it to Jordan’s funeral along with a jar of red ribbons so people could tie a ribbon in memory of Jordan. We continue to tie ribbons on the wreath every time something neat happens with regards to Jordan—a kind deed from a neighbor, a thoughtful “How are you?” text from a friend, a donation toward funeral expenses, a funny memory…

We also tie a ribbon when we experience or perform an act of service. This wreath reminds us that Jordan is loved, that we are loved. It is also a reminder to serve others so they can feel the love and support we continue to feel.

Jordan’s scrapbooks remain on the shelf with all our other scrapbooks. However, I decided to put one small scrapbook of his with the wall because it is a little different. I made it as a gift several years ago and filled it with words/qualities that reminded me of Jordan. Each descriptive word has a picture of Jordan that exemplifies the word or characteristic.

10. Poem, Quote or Scripture

Author Unknown
Author Unknown

The words to the poem are self-explanatory! This poem came with the wreath, so I just typed it up and put it in a red frame. I think a favorite scripture verse, or words to a favorite song would also be great.

11. Motto or “Catch Phrase”

Family Motto
Family Motto

For us “Families are Forever” says it all. We are a family. We will always be a family. We are additionally blessed and can gain strength from one important member of our family loving and guiding us from heaven. Sadly, I don’t have a Silhouette, so I ordered our motto in vinyl here. It didn’t arrive in time for this post, so I superimposed it onto the wall where it will go.

12. Piece of Jordan’s Art/Writing

Subway art created from Jordan's piece
Subway art created from Jordan’s piece

This could be a piece of art, a sculpture, an award, or a ribbon. Again, the idea here isn’t to memorialize all of Jordan’s accomplishments, or to display his treasures. It is to represent Jordan’s talents and personality—something to bring a smile to our faces and show others who Jordan was.

I came across this little gem that Jordan wrote when he was eight:

Jordan wrote this when he was eight
“Good Things” by Jordan, age 8

I saved it, and turned it into subway art for his room several years ago. I always loved how sweet his message was, even though I am not entirely sure where he got the idea to be “loving like a Chinese man!” This is a reminder of who Jordan was, and a reminder of who we want to be.

The final result turned out exactly how we planned, and it brings a smile to my face every time I walk past. Just this evening, a friend came by and asked how I was doing.

I smiled, and took her to my wall.

Jordan's Tribute Wall
Jordan’s Tribute Wall

I promise to return to regular chalk paint and furniture transformations soon! Until then, you can follow me on Facebook, Pinterest and  Instagram.

Kristin-Headshot

Published on January 15, 2015

11 thoughts on “Tribute Wall”

  1. How beautiful….and this spot came together in a perfect way. Our earthly life is but a speck of dust in comparison to the life we look forward to. I embrace you from afar for your loss of Jordan.

  2. Thank you for sharing this lovely post. I have beem in the lds church for 30 yrs. and as an lds woman we know we will be together again. I lost my son at 15 yrs. old from cancer and loosing my baby boy was difficult to bear but the truthful knowledge of the gospel allowed me to heal and receive comfort to accept my lose. My son Sammy was a delightful Priesthood holder, he left behind so many wonderful memories and those are the memories we as a family all hold on too each day. Thank you again…never forget families are forever.

    http://www.http//frugaliciouschick.blogspot.com

  3. Beautifully written Kristin. What a precious way to remember Jordan and what he was and what he can become. Thanks for sharing your personal side to help others, Jordan would be happy about that.

  4. This made my morning. Thank you. I too have a son that marches to his own orchestra. I love your wall and especially love his words. Today I will follow Jordan’s example and try to love as a Chinese man. That made my heart smile. May you find comfort in the strength of our Savior.

  5. Kristin, this is such beautiful post and wonderful way to honor Jordan. I know it will bring you great comfort. I am so glad I could see it. I think of your family everyday. This post will be an inspiration to so many who mourn. Love to you.

  6. Oh Kristin my heart breaks for your loss. Your tribute wall is amazing! As I know Jordan was an amazing young man. I want to thank you for sharing this post and I want you to know you and your family are in the hearts and prayers of my family.

  7. I know how hard this must have been for you. Thank you for sharing and showing us a part of your heart and soul.

  8. I am so sorry for your loss. My 6 year old son has autism and your Jordan sounds so much like him. He has the biggest heart and the sweetest spirit and he brings so much joy into our home. I had tears streaming down my face while reading about your sweet tribute to your son. Such a touching post and a beautiful way to help his memory live on.

  9. Thank you this beautiful post. I came across it while searching tribute wall. My Mom died last week. My Dad 10 years. I will now live in this house I was raised in. But what to do with all the memories? I want my home to reflect me. I despaired of what to do with all the photos, the angel collection, the small antique toy car collection. It came to me, while sitting on Moms bed, and seeing what poor shape her dresser was in, to use the mirror. Paint the frame a.soothing blue and use as a tribute to Mom and Dad. It will be installed on a wall in the dining area where our family and our children had so many wonderful meals and made so many memories. Thank you for sharing .

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