Part 4: The guidance and the results.

If you have just started reading my journey, please read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 first.

My friend had gotten Gastric Sleeve surgery. I had never heard of it. I had heard of Gastric Bypass, but I had never heard of Gastric Sleeve. Truth be told, I had looked into Gastric Bypass several times over the past 5 years. But, I never thought we could afford it. I also thought it was “drastic” and honestly, I think I loved food too much to consider it seriously. 

I found out several things at the seminar that I had no idea about. Did you know that health insurance can cover Gastric Sleeve Surgery? Plus, did you know the procedure can be done in Mexico? I have several friends who had their surgeries there and it was very successful.  I didn’t feel like going to Mexico was right for me, and after my surgery I came across this  article that you may want to consider.  The cost for surgery in Mexico is less than $5000. 

For me, my mind was blown. I thought a surgery like this would cost $30,000+. I had never let my mind even consider it seriously because there was no way I was going to put my family through that financial burden because I was fat. Or even worse, because I wanted to be skinny. 

I prayed for guidance. I prayed that I would know if something that seemed so “drastic” would offend God. I didn’t want to do anything that wasn’t ok with Him. But, after researching it for a few months, I desperately wanted to do it. I cried to the Heavens for weeks. 

I got an answer. “Go talk to your bishop.” 

My bishop had also had Gastric Sleeve surgery three years earlier. But, I hadn’t talked to him about it because I knew he was busy, and I didn’t want to bother him. But truthfully, I was worried he would say, “don’t do it.” 

So I fought with the answer. I fought it for several weeks. 

Finally one night on December 15th 2018, I finally dared to send him a text message. He told me to come over to his house that night. Dan and I went over and talked to him and his sweet wife for about an hour. 

I told him what I was thinking about doing, and I worried that I should wait until after Trek to consider it because I was worried that I wouldn’t have the energy to trek for 10 miles/day. I will never forget what he said. “You would be silly to wait until after Trek.” He also gave me some great words of wisdom. He said, “You will have a break up with food. It will be hard, but it will be worth it.” 

I had an appointment already scheduled for a consult, and I felt good about going forward. I didn’t end up getting the surgery from my first friend’s doctor in Mexico. Instead I got the surgery in my hometown where we felt more comfortable and where we could use our HSA account. 

I had Gastric Sleeve Surgery from Dr. Jared Speakman in St. George, Utah on January 18th, 2019. 

I know many of you may not agree with my decision. But, for me, it has been the best decision I have ever made for myself. Since surgery,  have lost 84  pounds. I had my 3 month post op appointment today and I cannot believe I have lost that much in 3 months. I feel completely different than before surgery. Food tastes different. I can’t eat most sugary foods. And they actually aren’t even appealing and that is WEIRD!

It has not been easy, but I feel better than I have felt in a very long time. I know it was the right choice for me. I know that my Heavenly Father approves. And because I knew that, I knew I would be ok with the changes I needed to make. 

I honestly feel like the way I was indulging in food was offensive to God. My appetites were controlling me. I didn’t realize how bad that was until I can look back on it now. 

I’m crossing my fingers that my ankle will continue to do better with me weighing much less now. But, so far it still has bad days. 

Today my BMI is around 34. I still have weight to lose, but I already feel so much better. 

Above all, I don’t want anyone to feel like their worth is connected to the number on the scale.  I’m not trying to convince anyone else to get surgery.  I never want anyone to feel like I expect that of them. But, I also felt like I should share this true, raw story. I am sharing details about my personal battle because I feel prompted to. If it helps one person, it’s worth it. 

I will leave the comments turned on unless I feel disrespected. Please be respectful to me and others. If you have questions, I will answer them in the comments. 

xoxo,

Brooke

UPDATE: I have now shared a Part 5 post, one year after Gastric Sleeve Surgery. 

For more information about what Gastric Sleeve surgery is, check it out here. 

Published on April 25, 2019

54 thoughts on “Part 4: The guidance and the results.”

  1. What a beautiful written piece! Thank you for being so transparent and raw! I hope you get all the results you desire! God Bless you!

    1. I am so proud of you. You look fantastic. Thank you for inspiring all of us. Bless you on your journey.

  2. Thank you so much for sharing your story! I am on a similar journey with my weight, and it feels urgent because I will be 50 (!!) next year. I am taking a different route than you are to get the weight off, but that makes no difference…we are on the same path and overcoming the same feelings and thoughts about food and about ourselves. I’m so proud of you and happy for you and INSPIRED by you! I’ll be thinking of you every day and every step I take on this quest. Thank you !

  3. Thank you for sharing your story! You look wonderful! I would be interested for you to write about what you eat now, and if certain foods are totally off limits, or what.

  4. I just sobbed through this whole thing because I love you so much. Im so proud of you. You have done a really hard thing and you are working so hard to be healthy fot yourself and for your family. I love you Brooke!

  5. Brooke, thank you for sharing you journey with us. I can’t imagine how hard it was but I assume it was healing for you as well as us. I am one who have always found you beautiful inside and out. That’s including in person Halloween of 2016.
    I’m grateful you did what was right for you. The difference in you smile in the two pictures tells it all.
    Love to you and your family,
    Megan

  6. Brooke!!! I’m so glad you did what you felt you needed to do… it’s no one’s business and the fact that you are brave enough to tell the whole story is absolutely beautiful!! You know funny thing reading through your insecurities on the last post, it’s crazy how bad Satan can make us think about ourselves… kid you not Brooke, I have ALWAYS thought you were one of the most gorgeous women I follow on IG! I never saw your size, I just saw your beautiful face that always lit up my feed or stories! I’m glad you did this to help YOU feel better, and I pray it helps you heal and your ankle heal too, but just know… no matter what comes of this, you are a beautiful human being and nothing can change that!?? I’m so happy for you!!

  7. Good for you Brooke and thank you for sharing your journey with your readers.
    Here’s to a healthier, happier you! <3

  8. I just want you to know I have been following you for 9 years. I have loved being in your crew. I am so happy for you. I know you don’t know me but wanted to cheer you on! You rock!

  9. I am so glad you had great results. My sister, unfortunately did not. This is just a cautionary story with a recommendation to choose your doctor wisely. Three years ago a doctor told my sister that she needed that surgery, after years of weight gain, medications, Weight Watchers, diet shakes, etc. her blood pressure was out of control and she could barely move from chair to chair. She had the surgery and it has been visits to the hospital repeatedly. Blood clots have ruined her veins. She hemorrhaged in the waiting room. She could not keep anything don, vomiting repeatedly and drastically losing weight. . Currently she is not making enough red blood cells and they cannot find the problem. I recognize this is probably the exception but people need to know that serious things can happen.

  10. My dear sweet friend,

    I love you more then words can express. I am so grateful for you and for your example. I am so happy for you and I can see the happiness in your eyes and I grateful for this sweet testimony. I see/read so much more then your story in this post. I see your faith and I love you!

  11. Hi Brooke, I just came across your story. Wow you look great! You been through alot. And you are on your way. Can’t wait to see the updates on your weight loss. Good luck and god bless.

  12. Every single thing you said about how your weight is always being front and center in your mind, about eating for any and every reason, about feeling like your husband should be embarrassed by your size…it’s as if you read my mind. I felt all of that. At 220 lbs I had enough and after two years of diet and exercise I reached 150lbs. I was fat for 29 years and was so happy I finally had a normal size body. Haha, jokes on me…six months later I got pregnant with twins. Ten years later and I’m still like 20lbs away. I’ve recently become really upset with myself because I used to be so strict with my diet, I know if I want the same results I need to do the same thing I did before. I’ve been praying to God to give me the strength I had before over food. I’ve never had a problem exercising, I honestly enjoy it. I have jeans I couldn’t even button a few months ago, I actually tried them on earlier and they fit great so I’d guess I lost 10ish, maybe 15 lbs. I just keep asking for the strength to continue being tight with my diet. I know you must feel great, you should feel great. I’m so happy for you. I feel like I’m sure I know exactly how you feel since we both had the same feelings about our weight, if that makes sense to you lol. I wish you the best. Get it girl, get into those single digits pants !

  13. You made me cry! Im so happy you had your prayers answered. You’re a beautiful, upbeat person, I love reading your blog. It’s important to feel good about yourself… and since you were guided by God, you know you made a good decision. God bless you!

  14. I had vsg in September of 2014. One of the best decisions I’ve EVER made!!! Follow the rules set by your doctor and exercise!!! You are doing great!

  15. I read this on a day full of insecurities. Full of, no one wants what I have to offer, I’m not enough…… Of so many things.

    Thanks for sharing and for the reminder of who we all truly are and what we are capable of. And who we are loved by.

    And i have also always thought you were beautiful ( I have wishes that I was as photogenic as you ). You are awesome Brooke.

  16. I know different people can have different results..do u have to take supplements now? And losing so fast are u having loose skin issues or doing anything to help the skin shrink as u lose?

  17. Brooke, I have followed you for a while and I have always seen you as a beautiful woman inside and out. I am happy you have found a way to make peace with your body!

  18. I just got the sleeve done on April 2. I haven’t told anyone so I am impressed that you just put it all out there. My story is of course different from you expect the desire not to offend God, or to burden my family. I am truly amazed at how much I have been blessed. I am recovering nicely and am pretty much back to normal activities. Funny I read all four of these post while eating califlower pizza. I am slow to lose weight but that wasn’t a surprise with my condition. I am so happy for you and look forward to seeing all your cute new clothes, I have always thought you dress great.

  19. I love your story, thank you for sharing it. I’m sure it isn’t easy! You defiantly helped me realize something about myself and I appreciate it. Thank you!!

  20. i love that you are so brave to share your most difficult thoughts! You are amazing and I am so happy that you are feeling like yourself again!

  21. Thank you for sharing your story. There are so many people in my immediate family that could benefit from your story which I plan to share with them. I’m so happy that you are happy with the results from your surgery and that it was the right decision for you.

  22. Good for you glad you had the sleeve done at your age. I had it done in September of 2018 at the age of 63. I only wish that they would of had it when I was your age .. it was the best decision of my life , so far have lost 100 lbs almost to my goal. Enjoy your new more active life!!!

  23. Brooke thanks for sharing your story when i read it i felt like you got into my head I also have gained weight and have been thinking of doing this surgery i just set up an apt with my GI to see what he recommends since i have other stomach issues and health problems but thank you again for sharing you are beautiful no matter what you look like because it comes from within

  24. Good for you Brooke!! I think it’s totslly up to you what is best for you and no one else!! You are beautiful no matter what but I’m so happy for your weight loss because I know how good that feels and how hard it was to get to this point!! I lost about 35 pounds 3 years ago and it was hard, I ran a lot which I hate!!! I eventually stopped because I hated running and have gained all the weight back sadly. I need to find a different way to lose weight, one that I can do and not hate but I remember the feeling of looking in the mirror and living how my clothes looked and felt, pure joy!! Enjoy this feeling and embrace it, you go girl and hope your journey continues to be successful!!??

  25. Thank you for posting this! I could be your “before” body double, and I am in the middle of the process, I have my consult next, then scheduling the surgery. Two questions:

    What was the hardest part for you?

    Why did you go with the sleeve vs bypass? I still haven’t made that final decision.

    Thank you so much!

  26. I love you Brooke!!! You’re an amazing women with more life in your one pinky than most people’s whole body. I would love to hike angels landing. I think if you invited all the women who love you we could dominate the whole trail. I’m so excited for your future and the life your taking back. Maybe a good old fashioned bike that doesn’t have high impact on your ankle would help you know I love mine?.

  27. You are awesome! well done to do what it takes to be healthy for your family! you look great – stay the course!!!!!!

  28. I could literally be your body double! Thank you so much for telling your story. I am going through the process now, the next step is meeting with the surgeon. Two questions:
    1. What made you choose the sleeve vs bypass?
    2. What has been the hardest part?

    Thank you!!

    1. My Dr recommended sleeve. So I’m not sure why he chose that over bypass.

      The hardest part was the 14 days of protein shakes before surgery!!

  29. Hi brooke. I am in the uk so do not know you but know your story so well. I needed new hip and consultant asked kindly if i could try and loose weight. I was 266lbs. My surgery is june 3rd 2019 and i weigh 190. Still a work in progress but like you feel better about myself. I will let you know when i hit my goal of 150lbs. By the way i am 68 sonit is never too late!!

  30. Thank you for being brave and sharing your story. I’ve always struggled with my weight and despite being worried about how people would react I went ahead and had my gastric sleeve on February 13th this year. I’m down over 50 pounds (although in Australia where I live we say 23kgs which doesn’t sound quite as much lol) but I feel so much better than I have in years and feel like I’m aging in reverse.

    You look amazing but more importantly, you look really happy and I look forward to seeing your continuing journey. Much love to you x

  31. This was an amazing article-I’m so glad that you decided to do this. I worked with a lady who had bypass surgery and it literally changed her life. Not only did she lose weight, which was medically beneficial, but it changed her personality. She was no longer shy, uncertain, afraid of being in public; instead she became outgoing and was smiling all of the time! Self image is important.

  32. Thank you for posting your weight loss story. I can relate to your thoughts about yourself and over indulging in food. I have been over weight my whole life and it’s time to take a stand and do something about it. I can’t have a gastric sleeve due to some polyps in my stomach. I get to diet and exercise my way to being thinner. You have inspired me to start this journey and stop wasting time. Thank you again!

  33. The tyrany of weight issues…it has defined my whole life….its been the hardest longest battle i have ever fought..and its linked to so many complex issues…the things i miggt havecdone if i were thinner..the clothes i might have worn…the wardrobe in 3 sizes…my skinny US 10s ..my normal US 14s….i have good days bad days…weeks…months…but finally i am accepting i am me….and i am refusing to continue to allow me to lead the life i wish to live….

    You are brave and beautiful Brooke…you did the right thing for you….i hope your ankle stabilises…as you lose weight…i was in despair a year ago with knee issues…but it stabilised as i am losing weight again…i recognise i have thresholds of wellness….i try to keep on the right side of those…i will never be skinny…or indeed without curves slim…my body is curved…as it seems to happy like that….so im making peace with it…i have followed your blog for a number of years..u are as creative and talented as you are beautiful…and you are blessed with your lovely family….i send you love and ligh and the hope for continued wellness xx Majella from Ireland

  34. Thank you so much for sharing this story. Your writing is so genuine and touches the emotions. You are so brave to share this very personal struggle, especially your numbers… I wish you so much happiness as your success continues and your life evolves in a new way. I am inspired by your story. Though my challenges are different, they also involve physical limitations and weight gain. I look forward to following your story as well as your blog!! So did you or will you appear on Rachel Ray?

  35. What an incredible journey. I am so sorry for the pain you’ve had to endure. So happy for you!!

  36. Brooke- This was so inspiring to read! Thank you for sharing your journey. That (sharing) must have been so hard. I am in a similar situation, where I am so unhappy with myself and have recently had breast reduction surgery to help me get going. I have cut soda and am really trying to watch what I eat and am finally able to work out again. But it is soooo discouraging to not see results, or maybe just big results as quickly as I’d like to see them. I am so proud of you! It takes GUTS to be so real on social media these days, and I appreciate your honesty! Makes me feel normal. Good luck to you as you continue your journey! Tell Dan I said hello! ?

  37. Hey, This is probably the 2nd time I’ve read your blog . I really think I was lead to it today. Your’e awesome! I love how much you let the light of Christ sign through you! Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve struggled with weight too. I’m really happy that you found what works for you. I wanted to comment on your worries that Heavenly Father would be disappointed in you. I have had a similar experience when I was worried that He would be disappointed in me . In prayer, I literally heard a giggle and the words, ” I can never be disappointed in you.” I felt that it was not in His nature to be disappointed. He loves, He listens and He guides.
    I’m now a group fitness instructor and I work 3 different part time jobs at our rec center. Let me know if you need any fitness help.
    Keep up the good work!

  38. Brookie!!! I’m so unbelievably proud of you. You are so beautiful inside and out. This does not define you. Satan has found your weakness and learned how to make you doubt yourself. God is good and way stronger! I love you and know you can beat this. Sounds like you have done your homework and put in more work than all of us combined…find what works for you and stick with it. Changes do not need to be big…baby steps one day at a time! Lots of prayers love you friend??

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